The other part of me shivered in horror. After all, this means I’m offering viewers a look inside my purse. Some days, even I don’t know what’s in there. And I swear, sometimes, in its deep recesses, things move…
I can only attribute it to the fact I have what my sons call a “mother’s purse.” In other words, a bottomless pit of useless items that you very well might need in a life-or-death situation one day. I can’t find my wallet most of the time, but if you randomly pick three items from my purse, you’d be able to MacGyver your way out of many situations.
OK, I suppose I am exaggerating a tad. Every good storyteller does (my story and I’m sticking to it). And I will freely admit I did a little clean up. With an industrial vacuum. You see, every time I look in my purse, I feel a little like Oscar Madison from The Odd Couple. It’s not that I’m messy. I just don’t clean up … right away. However, for the purposes of this post, I removed the “unidentifiables” from the bottom of my bag.
Thanks to Tracey Gee and Jessica Cale for allowing me to be part of this interesting tour. I am only a little scarred, and after you take a closer look at my belongings, you might be as well.
1 – Yogurt (usually two small tubs). I often eat on the run. Bad for you, I know, but mornings are hard and I don’t usually sit down for breakfast. Instead, I cart yogurt around with me. It does grow warmish, I concede, but I like it that way. If it’s too cold, it hurts my teeth. One of the yogurt tubs did once explode, covering the contents of my purse. It was gross. I did clean that mess, but I smelled blueberries for weeks.
2 – Spoons (for afore-mentioned yogurt). A girl needs spoons! My problem is I often forget to take them out of my purse at the end of the day. This means, by week end, my purse is a bacteria-riddled cutlery stomping ground. Seriously, I swear they’re multiplying.
3 – Tissues. I blow my nose a lot. I hate drips. However, where most neat and tidy ladies carry those cute little Kleenex pouches, I tend to stuff a bunch in my purse willy-nilly. So, yeah, some of them might be old…and used. I did warn you, didn’t I???
4 – A wallet full of reward cards I always forget to redeem. The only one I use religiously is Starbucks. Seriously, don’t touch my St. Arbuck’s card. I really should throw out the other cards for Payless, Hallmark, Cineplex, Hane’s, Ricki’s…you get the idea. Someone, cut me off.
5 – Five lipsticks and a lip balm in the shape of a pink skull. My mother always said, “Never go out without lipstick.” I have heeded her words since I was 18. My preferences are reds and pinks.
6 – Paper calendar/writing notebooks/pens. I’m a writer. What can I say? I always have a notebook and writing utensils with me. And my paper day timer is a godsend. I’d be lost without it. Although I am tech savvy (enough), I still like a paper calendar. And I always write my name and number in the front, like a third-grader, in case it gets lost.
7 – A discreet black pouch to carry maxi pads. I’m in my forties. Things are unpredictable. ‘Nuff said.
8 – My glasses case. It may look fancy with the Versace label, but it is covered in blue ink…because I carry pens for scribbling in my notebook. Sigh. I am constantly covered in ink, dairy products and old, wrinkled tissue bits.
9 – My cheap Walmart sunglasses. I never buy expensive sunglasses because the minute I get them home, I accidentally sit on them and break them. Whenever I buy them at Walmart for $10.99, they last forever. I could jump up and down on those suckers and they’ll refuse to break.
10 – Oh, and a very basic phone (with which I am photographing this mess) so I can stalk my children on Instagram. Seriously, boys. You have no secrets, my friends. I know everything and I see what you “like.” And, by the way, you’re grounded.
Rosanna Leo is a multi-published, erotic romance author. Several of her books about Greek gods, selkies and shape shifters have been named Top Picks at Night Owl Romance and The Romance Reviews.
From Toronto, Canada, Rosanna occupies a house in the suburbs with her long-suffering husband, their two hungry sons and a tabby cat named Sweetie. When not writing, she can be found haunting dusty library stacks or planning her next star-crossed love affair.
A library employee by day, she is honored to be a member of the league of naughty librarians who also happen to write romance. Rosanna blogs at www.rosannaleoauthor.wordpress.com
Amazon Author Page: http://www.amazon.com/Rosanna-Leo/e/B007X5P4I8